My Blog

Aug 19

Something that is so stupid, but yet would really make me laugh

If there was a Canadian band called Modest Moose.

Aug 18

[video]

Aug 16

This is Charles. He lives above the toilet in my basement bathroom. And even though he is big and creepy-looking and I hate spiders, I have not killed him because I respect him too much.

[video]

Aug 14

Unpublished Ledges

I sent in a couple Ledges a while ago, but it was right after the flood and I think the school’s email server was down so they never got published. And since I no longer attend the University of Iowa, I don’t think I’m allowed to submit Ledges anymore so they never will be published.

15 City names that should probably be rethought

Californ, IA

An, AL

Hard, ON

Blow, ME

Fuc, KS

Ebo, LA

Uh, OH

Ma And, PA

Pa And, MA

O, WI

Ron, CO

Bone, OR

I’m Going to Need to See Some, ID

We’re Going to Need Some, KY

Iowa City, CA

Matt Gorman is pretty sure at least two of these actually exist.

Items at the One-ups-man’s Store

Triple Stuf Oreos

Triple Edged Swords

7-Hour Energy

Coke Negative 1

Reheated Hot Cakes

Double Sliced Bread

Threefried Beans

Triple-breasted suits

Quadruplemint gum

e^3 Lithium batteries

2010 calendars

Beer-31 Light

Conjoined triplets

Matt Gorman stretched that joke about as far as it could go.

Aug 13

gay-babies:

Another classic gay-baby

While we may mourn, somewhere a 7'6" woman is secretly celebrating

Aug 12

Matt Gorman: Taking stupid stuff I write on my tumblr and posting it as a CH article since a few months ago or something.

Aug 11

How Nigerian student fraternities turned into powerful and well-armed gangs -

whatson:

cameronr:

This is an incredible article.

In the 90s, Nigerian military leaders provided these once run-of-the-mill fraternities with money and guns to suppress pro-democracy, leftist, student unions. In return, they’re paid, they’re able to threaten their teachers into giving them passing grades, and when they leave university they’re often hooked up with good jobs through a network of gang alumni. An okay deal when an unemployed and impoverished future is looking pretty likely, with or without graduating university

So what’s wrong with a few students trying to get ahead in life by blowing up their professors’ cars or kidnapping their kids just to pass a class? Well, the foresight that these West African military leaders are usually known for somehow lapsed when they decided to hook up a bunch of different confraternities with the scrill and drill. Now they’ve turned against each other, resulting in auditoriums of their peers getting shot the fuck up in gang wars while trying to write their Econ final.

This is nuts.

New Term

Phantom step
When you get to the bottom of a dark staircase and take a step thinking there’s another step when there’s not (can also describe the same phenomena at the top of the staircase).