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Email me: matt.j.gorman @ gmail.com

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Fun with Facebook ads

A while ago I noticed that Facebook ads had started to be tailored to me by my age. For example one of the ad had the headline “22 year old gamer”. While I am a 22 year old gamer, I was getting sick of the constant ads for “BBW Girls” and gay sex so I decided to change my birthday from 1986 to 1906. The change yielded the expected results…

That’s pretty normal, older people should be worried about their retirement money, but then they started getting a little better…

There is no way that guy is over 55. Then I discovered something great…

A social networking site like Facebook but without those pesky youngsters around with their hip-hop music and their short pants! Where do I sign up?! (I actually did sign up and it was worth it, providing me with, literally, minutes of entertainment). But it gets better…

A social networking site for radiologists. Why didn’t I think of that?! I could have been a millionaire! Why Facebook assumed that I’m a radiologist, I have no idea, but this one is a little harder to sign up for than TBD. My application is still pending. But wait, there’s more…

I think I’m having a mid-life crisis at 102.

Nothing bad can come of this! Sign me up!

Old people love fireplaces. FACT.

My OWN stem cells. Psh, I’ll just get ‘em from the abortion clinic like everybody else.

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Things that are difficult to hold masculinely, sorted from most to least:

klocksien:

  1. Umbrellas
  2. Drinks with umbrellas in them
  3. Dicks

Revision:

3. Other people’s dicks

4. Your dick

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