February 2010
1 tag
Well I'm definitely not going to attempt to catch...
Words can’t express how little I care about the Grammys. Sorry guys, I’m sure your comments were all witty and insightful, but I can’t keep interest… unless there are puns, feel free to email me with any Grammy-related puns.
Feb 1st
Anonymous asked: marry me?
Feb 1st
fittythebone asked: If you're down with post-apocalyptic novels written in the fifties by authors that were published under pseudonyms, you should read Alas, Babylon by a man named Pat Frank. I abso-fucking-lutely love this book.

Also... Booyah Vonnegut
Feb 1st
notean asked: Are you related to Helen Gorman, Leno's (ex?) manager?
Feb 1st
January 2010
notean asked: What is your ONE favorite book of all time and why?
Jan 31st
So it begins...
shadeofgrey: So I decided to take a page out of Jaime-Leigh’s book, and start my very own anonymous Tumblr account. It’s just a collection of white-whines about my terrible, terrible love life. Maybe other things, but mostly the first thing. Writing this shit out really does make me feel better, even if it’s to no one in particular.  Getting to just write about my side of the story often is...
Jan 31st
2 tags
Because I haven't done this in a while and it... →
Ask, tell, or fart on your keyboard and hit “ask”
Jan 31st
4 tags
ListenTilly and the Wall - Dust Me Off Sometimes shit...
Jan 31st
2 tags
Jan 31st
6 notes
3 tags
Jan 31st
3 tags
Jan 30th
58 notes
3 tags
Jan 30th
I went to a Lady Gaga party
kevinslane: …and was more sexually active than I’ve been at a party in awhile. Laundry rooms were involved. Ro-ma-ro-ma-ma indeed… You been sitting on the washer during the spin cycle again?
Jan 30th
1 tag
“Catcher in the Rye actually saved my life. I was being interviewed for admission...”
– PLTAYLOR: J.D. Salinger, 91, Is Dead (via peterwknox) This quote is the reason I hate Catcher in the Rye. I read it when I was about a freshman in high school and found Holden Caulfield to be a whiny, ungrateful, punk. I didn’t “identify” with him at all and can’t believe...
Jan 30th
861 notes
2 tags
Jan 30th
8 notes
3 tags
Jan 30th
1 tag
Life is no way to treat an animal
not even a mouse.
Jan 30th
1 note
Jan 29th
423 notes
1 tag
Remember when Thursday used to have awesome TV all...
No more Always Sunny, no more Jersey Shore, Community, Parks and Rec, The Office, 30 Rock, and Conan (obviously) are repeats. Thank God at least the Jay Leno Show is new tonight.
Jan 29th
1 note
What do you call an angsty novel from the 50s that...
A J.D. Salindrome.
Jan 29th
leeleeleelee asked: I just signed up for legal services through my company which allows me to make a living will at the age of 24. When I die, will you make me a meme?
Jan 29th
Jan 29th
Jan 29th
Jan 29th
1 tag
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
6 notes
Jan 28th
8 notes
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Jan 28th
8 notes
2 tags
Banning a book is absolutely stupid.
emilykay: fuckmerdj: What’s the point in it? To hide the truths of the world? Books are banned because they talk about suicide and drugs, well hello, welcome to the real world where those aren’t “banned.” most of the books the were banned, were banned back when they first came out. things that were mentioned in the book “a clockwork orange” like rape were pretty taboo back then and it wasn’t...
Jan 28th
2 tags
WatchWatch
sportscentr: From the 2007 Pro Bowl:  Sean Taylor destroys Brian Moorman on a fake punt attempt. R.I. P., #21. There is almost nothing I don’t love about this video.
Jan 28th
4 notes
1 tag
Jan 28th
94 notes
1 tag
I just had a great idea for a movie
It’s about a man whose literary puns predict who will die. It’ll be like Final Destination meets that one movie with Nicolas Cage meets Carrot Top. It’ll be semi-autobiographical.
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
2 tags
Jan 28th
1 tag
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
65 notes
Salinger was the only thing keeping a terrible,...
hammerito: I hope Michael Bay can jazz it up a little. I can’t wait to see an exploding duck pond in 3D.
Jan 28th
84 notes
4 tags
Jan 28th
1 tag
Bitch be crazy. and thinks she's not. comments... →
(via randos) Wait, do people actually think this is serious?
Jan 28th
4 notes
2 tags
“I am amused that Renoir is too sweet for Indianapolis. Does this mean that those...”
– AW SNAPPLE!
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
5 tags
Oh Twitter
So last night I was going through my Twitter followers to see if there were actually any real people following me so I could follow them back (I gave up after 5 minutes) and noticed that this profile was following me. At first glance it’s for a Kansas City-area housing rental company that gives information based on proximity to pancakes, which would be very useful to me if I lived in KC....
Jan 28th
2 tags
If I ever have grandkids
I want them to give me a “Worst. Grandpa. Ever.” Mug/t-shirt/hat.
Jan 28th
2 tags
jheath asked: Who's dick did you suck to get P&E hotlinked AND secondary question, how long until your book deal?
Jan 28th
slaneofthought asked: what is the best way to get rid of bear pls hurry i think theres one in my house OH MY GO-
Jan 28th
Anonymous asked: Can you hula hoop?
Jan 28th
1 tag
afghanibanani-deactivated201109 asked: Hi, Matt. Do you like crackers?
Jan 28th
1 tag
people who learn politics from tumblr are the...
afghanibanani: krispayne: people who argue politics on tumblr are the problem with america people who take things out of context are the problem with america YOU are the problem with america there is only one way to fix america: stop being an idiot, stop caring about a stupid reality tv series, stop caring about what celebrity is with who and how many kids they’ve bought in cambodia, and...
Jan 28th
119 notes
Apparently all the cool people went to bed, why... →
Jan 28th
1 tag
I had to work so I missed the SOTU address
but according to my dashboard, I missed out on some hilarity.
Jan 28th