Some gems from tonight:

Little old lady was so proud of her son in law apparently being someone famous from DC: “If you lived in the beltway, you’d recognize him”

Same little old lady on whether to remove extra chairs from the table: “well, I’ll need a chair for my purse, but I don’t want anyone to have to sit on the seam of the table…”

Apparently famous guy: “is your pork dish dried out? My grandma used to cook me pork and it was always dried out”

Woman who ordered seafood portofino and french onion soup upon receiving orzo mac and cheese appetizer, which has bacon bits mixed in: “Can I get this without the bacon? I’m vegetarian.”

Same woman upon receiving a bacon - less mac and cheese: “There’s still meat in this, or maybe it was cooked in bacon fat or something. I can’t eat this.”

Same woman upon being informed that the French onion soup is made with beef broth and demi glace and the seafood portofino contains shellfish: “oh that’s okay.”

Sometimes I start saying something and then I think to myself “should I just shut the fuck up?” And usually the answer is yes so I do.

I’m not gonna tell anybody how to live their life but just know that shutting the fuck up is always an option.

oldtobegin

oldtobegin:

so-treu:

eshusplayground:

cornerstorepress:

cypheroftyr:

But how many people reblogged this because John Stewart said it? A white dude says the same shit we have been FOREVER and now it’s all over and he’s being praised for telling it.

Protip: Black folks have been saying this forever, this is nothing new.

But we’re just angry and complaining and ignored. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he said this but I’m tired of us saying this all the fucking time and getting dismissed.

But when a white person parrots the same shit we’ve been saying? It’s suddenly relevant.

Thank you! That very last thing he said has been floating around Twitter and Tumblr while he was on vacation and I’m sure a black woman said it. It’s almost word for word.

The bold is a PSA.

and we get called “social justice warriors” when we say it, at BEST

I was gonna let it go unsaid but I wanna go on record as saying that while it’s great that Stewart said this, he’s not dropping new knowledge or revealing new truths. I’m in solidarity with the people of color who feel plagiarized by these comments—or who simply are outraged that only white people get heard saying this stuff. I didn’t watch the whole broadcast so I don’t know if Stewart acknowledged how ridiculous it is that HE has to say it for people to hear it. But I hope he did/wish he would have.

jean-luc-gohard

Anonymous asked:

About the Ferguson thing: The cop was severely beaten and even suffered a major eye injury, which many people think caused him to miss Mike Brown so many times. And there are also many witnesses who claim to have seen Mike Brown rush back at the cop after assaulting him in the car (and I know this is pretty much irrelevant, but just to let you know, some of those witnesses were black). So can't you at least give this guy the presumption of innocence please?

jean-luc-gohard answered:

On the right is the image right-wing pundit Jim Hoft used to prove that Darren Wilson had an orbital blowout fracture. On the left is a CT scan of a blowout fracture, taken at the University of Iowa in 2008 and used on a website explaining what orbital blowout fractures are. If you look carefully or casually or at all in any way using eyeballs of any kind, you’ll notice that they’re the same image, except that the one on the right has been edited so that it no longer includes the date or location. That’s because the story was made up.

In video taken after the shooting, you can see Wilson walking around uninjured. His eye socket is not busted, nor is his jaw (an addition to the story I’ve seen since it’s been on its telephone game journey across the internet). In addition, Michael Brown’s autopsy showed no sign of struggle. And the claim that over a dozen witnesses agreed with the cop’s story were fabricated, made up by either police or a local journalist who has been on leave since March and is not reporting officially or unofficially on the situation in Ferguson. None of the actual witnesses (the ones who exist and are not made up) agree with the cop’s story.

Given that everything so far in defense of Wilson has been made up, police have been intentionally spreading lies to make Wilson look better and Brown look worse, and they deleted Wilson’s social media presence and helped him flee town before revealing his identity (making it impossible to know what he may have said about the case or comments he may have made about other subjects that could paint a picture of who he is as a person), it’s pretty hard to presume they’re not hiding something.

jean-luc-gohard:

sirl33te:

Wilson’s story was not even from Wilson himself. It was told 3rd hand by this “Josie”, which makes it hearsay. But hearsay out of a white woman’s mouth is the only thing more credible than actual witnesses I guess…

Also, “Josie” was a hoax.

It’s almost like racist assholes will latch on to any fake story they can find and repeat it as fact long after it’s been debunked. And they say psychological warfare doesn’t work…

A while back I stopped wearing my slip-on kitchen shoes at work because they were giving me terrible foot/leg pain so I just wore my everyday shoes in the kitchen for the last couple months and they have now all but disintegrated. Now I’m back to the slip-ons and they are killing my feet again.

Anyway the point of the story is that shoes are terrible and I hate everything foot-related.

kiss-distinctly-american

kiss-distinctly-american:

chrisolovesmusic:

This is actually hilarious. I don’t even know if it’s serious, but I am dying. 

KATE BUSH

Maybe if she stopped running up that fucking hill she wouldn’t sound so out of breath all the time.

I am officially dead. And I like Kate!

VELVET UNDERGROUND

Velvet Underground is proof that if you want to create something truly terrible, you just need to start by telling a bunch of burnouts that they’re artists. Then let them fire away, get hooked on heroin, and keep perpetuating the cycle by influencing new generations of shitty wannabe artists. It’s the greatest conceptual art prank Andy Warhol ever pulled.

THE WHITE STRIPES

Responsible for the worst stadium song ever recorded and a two-person band in which both members look like the sex offender of the week on an especially dark SVU episode.